So --without much detail-- I got my friends in trouble today because I made a black joke that their dad over heard and now I'm sure their father never wants me anywhere near his kids again.
I also would imagine that their older brother hates me too.

I suppose leaving the lunch table we eat at is the least I can do.

I'm such an idiot. I'm the most retarted creature on the planet. There aren't words that can describe my level of stupidity.
I hate myself and I especially hate today.

On top of that, I forgot an important check to pick up from the office for my mother. So now she'll be pissed at me too.

Ok. I can't take it. It's driving me nuts. This is stupid. This is stupid, stupid stupid.

Please note: I know that when you read the problem, IF you're one of my non-online friends (nicer than saying real life because none of you are bots), you're going to think this is about one boy in particular. That same boy might think it's about him too.
It's not. You're wrong. Move on.
Really, if it's so important for you to tie in my self concerns with inferences, you can shove it.

Anyway...
I'm trying to find the truth on something I said last year and something this year.
Note: This involves many friends, not just one person per say.

Some of you might remember my stalker from Sophomore year to Now. Well he was a senior and 18 while I was a sophomore and 15 and he wanted to date me while he was with my friend and I was... not too apt to date him. He was super creepy, and still very much so.

So then last year I had said "It's not ok for a college kid to date a sophomore. And it's just NO for a senior to date a freshman."

But then this year, I become a senior and now a whole ridiculous can of worms opens up. No. I'm not dating a freshman. But the whole situation has changed. I have a lot of freshmen friends and I feel bad for condemning the guy (not for his weird stalkerness, but for the age). But at the same time it seems bad for that to happen. They're just out of 8th grade and we're about to hit adulthood. I'm not saying I plan on dating a freshman at the moment... but the likely hood of such an event is much higher now that I'm friends with so many.

And I don't know if that's wrong or not. Like yeah, for obvious reasons 18 year olds and 13 year olds don't get together... but 14/15 and 17 aren't that far apart and some freshman are more mature than others. True, some still act 10. But by that age... most of them who act 10, STAY 10 forever, even after marriage.

So yeah... that was my rant. x___x That is what has been bothering me for 2 days.
So I ask you: Is it wrong for you to be attracted to a freshman if you are a senior? Even if this freshman is mature or doesn't look like a freshmen? Or if you've known them forever?
At what point is age really just a number and not the deciding factor on whether or not we get thrown down the societal drain of political correctness?

Owari~

I can't say what I exactly feel hypocritical for because if I do, the person it involves will either hear it from RL friends on DA, or read it himself. (Ha, that's your only clue- that it's a he.)

But anyway, I feel like a hypocrite because of something I said last year that I know see the other side of.
I basically condemned certain people for doing >> something, strictly because of their age. But now it would appear that I myself MIGHT be possibly doing the same thing. And it'd be utterly ridiculous to say that it's because I'm a girl and the people I condemned were boys, so I have no choice but to admit to hypocrisy- slight as it may be.

Anyhoodle (<-- stolen from a friend), I'm considering returning my xbox. Yeah I know, all the weeks of errand running and friend donations just to return it?- But I don't like the discord online. I have several online friends and lately, at least the few times I actually get on when they're on, there's some arguement or another.
It's not like I don't expect issues, people are only human, but I got yelled at today because I said Shenanigans and one friend mistook another friend's response. Seriously, I could think of 100 better ways to spend $200 than to sit online and get yelled at for Shenanigans.
I was originally getting it so that no matter where I went for college, I'd always have one group of friends I'd talk to just as frequently at home. But I don't wanna spend that time yelling.

Also, Dad thinks he's punishing me by telling me he's going to make me move the xbox into my room.
Yeah- put it in my room where I can play and not have to leave the comfort of my own bed.
That's GREAT parenting, I'll sure learn my lesson.

Owari~

I went to that store and I must say, normal people scare me around Halloween. I swear there were people there who looked like they'd never even think of dressing up.
And it was uber awkward hanging around all the slutty costumes.

But it was cool- They had a PENGUIN suit! I saw what I wanted and on Wednesday we're going to go back and pick up what I left behind. Although, I might just go to Hot Topic and get some things.

I decided on being a nurse or... wanna be nurse... or some kind of junkie with a syringe. And I got my little black horns!

I liked it... sort of... but it felt just a little too creepy for me. It's just a little too sketchy to have a store come to town for a month and disappear into thin air after the 31st.

A Note from School I forgot to Mention
Today, the Chinese teacher I assist was absent, but the substitute knew Chinese! Like my teacher, she was American but had studied Chinese in college. It was amazing! I enjoyed having her around and she really inspired me to continue learning Chinese in college. Studying in Taiwan and Mainland China sounds so exciting!


~Owari

A friend of mine gave me one of his old, LCD monitors to use because mine's crapped up. And it's sweet.

It's slightly small and it does cut off the corner of this journal box with the Journal history box. But it's cool.


Anywhoooo...

HALLOWEEN THIS WEEK PEOPLE!

I've decided to be some sort of evil maid/American McGee's Alice type thing, so I'm going to try to get to the Spirit Halloween store today or tomorrow with mom to look at their wares.

Spirit Halloween is a shop that comes to our town (city, really) but once a year. I myself have never been there but my friends say it's amazing so I'll be sure to pass on my remarks.

Another thing, my computer got a little virus and a worm yesterday. One care says it removed both but I still have a pop up every now and again. So I'm downloading Avast to clear it all out.

Post later!
~Owari!